MishMash: Musings on books and personal development

I generally read over 300 books each year but there are some books whose impact on me lives on well after I finished reading. Here are my top two favourite books that I read in 2023: 1. "Finding Ultra" by Rich Roll : This memoir appeals to my love of all things adventure, quest and self-improvement and did not disappoint. I was inspired to read Finding Ultra after listening to Rich Roll's interview on the Diary of a CEO podcast . His story was so unbelievably inspiring and engaging, but what I loved most was the way he answered questions. You can tell a person who has really worked through their shit by the way they speak and I was beyond impressed by his emotional intelligence, genuine compassion and insight. If you like running marathons, are interested or curious about veganism, peak performance, overcoming addictions or the like, this book is a great read.  2. "Everything is Beautiful and Everything Hurts" by Josie Shapiro:  As a kiwi, I have a confession to

  On life and love The loss of a relationship Is not grief or sorrow As some might imagine But rather the amplification of joy - The sudden and overwhelming Flavours of an intense bond Recollected in fondness Which having been steeped in hot water, like tea Provide a blast of succulent sweetness That is nectar to the soul (It was always there You just never experienced it so fully and Completely before) For the loss is not an ending It is a transfer of energy An offering of gratitude for all The shared memories And a passing on of the baton To someone new who is able To take your beloved to new heights And different peaks That are necessary for the evolution Of their soul And so, we push past our reluctance Prise open our clenched fist And let the ladybird of that friendship Fly free to the horizon, where The dawning light Of a new day greets us Welcoming us back to ourselves Inside our own skin again - I

This year I started a business, and I'll be the first to admit I had no clue what I was doing. Now, just three months after starting the business, I am the remarkably odd position of choosing deliberately not to advertise my business, and deliberately keeping a low profile so I don't get more work than I can handle. Before the year is out I will likely have to start employing and training staff. Now I don't share this story as a result of my business brilliance. Trust me - I'm not brilliant, and I certainly don't know everything, but oddly enough that is what has contributed to my success. Normally I am the kind of person who likes to read every book on the subject. I read and I read, and I make plans to put into action, but never actually end up actioning the plan because I am so fearful of all the stuff I don't yet know. I was like this even a few months ago. But now I realise I could wait my whole life and I would still never know all there is to know.

This is a question people sometimes ask me when they hear my story, and it is an important one. I hope to give it justice with the answer I write here. Before I answer though I need to put out a disclaimer: although I smile and laugh and always have in spite of what I have been through, I have also cried. LOTS. I have been depressed, and I have been suicidal, and I do not want to discount how hard those places are to be in. If anyone reading this is in those places right now, please know my heart goes out to you with the maximum amount of love. So how do I smile, how do I laugh? Because smiling and laughing are symptoms of the only true healing medicine in the world: love. And no matter how much evil I have experienced, and seen, I have always known that love wins, that love is bigger, that love can always be found, even in the darkest place. Every time you choose to live, you are choosing love, and when you choose love the universe will respond with more love. At first it

Last night at our flat we were bored and we got a little crazy. We pulled back the furniture, plugged in the Xbox Kinnect and played some crazy sports-based games as a form of flat bonding. And it was great! So much fun! Yet, dare I say it, it is the kind of thing I normally avoid. Just like dance, just like writing fiction. It feels too risky, it feels too much like hard work, and way out of my comfort zone. Part of the problem is I like doing things well. And these things do not come naturally to me. So more often than out I choose not to partake. Even last night my flatmate had to coerce and drag me to give it a go. I was content to watch, and cheerlead and laugh on the sidelines, but do it myself? Oh no! However eventually I gave it a go, and I had so much fun. Of course at the beginning I felt so awkward, but slowly that awkwardness was overtaken with a sense of freedom and wild abandon, things my carefully controlled and structured self rarely feel. In that moment the free

So I have a confession to make: I am something of a lone ranger. Always have been, probably always will be. I grew up effectively as an only child, as my older brother was placed in permanent foster care from the time he was born. My home environment was very abusive and dysfunctional and how I dealt with this was by retreating into my own internal space, the bubble of my soul where my organic self could find freedom, calm and protection. To make matters worse, I am an off-the-charts introvert, despite having a big heart and loving the people around me. There are obviously many benefits to being this way. (Check out Susan Cain's talk 'The Power of Introverts' if you need a reminder of what some of these are). However there are some obvious downfalls too. I can be too serious, too self-absorbed, and I can forget the power and gift my presence can be in the lives of others around me. Check out the following case in point: My friend's birthday party So a friend of