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Showing posts from January, 2013

There Is Room For All Our Experiences

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One of the key human virtues that has the power to heal the world is tolerance . Please do not misunderstand me - I am not saying we should be tolerant of murder, rape and other traumatic and violent acts. What I am talking about is tolerance of people. This means accepting the fullness of human experiences and beliefs that people may have/hold. Too often I hear people making black and white statements about what people should believe, and how people should be. Such views are narrow and discriminating and place us in a position of alienation from others. Of course it is important to have your own opinions, values and beliefs - that is what makes you you - but my point is this: every time we step into the world of shoulds we start segregating ourselves from the world, and from love. One of the things that people often judge me for is the fact that I don't want children. "Oh, but you should want children," people say, "Children are such a blessing". Agree

Turning 30

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Turning 30 is an event that a lot of women fear. Today, Erin Kennedy of mythirtyspot.com features a piece I wrote about what turning 30 means to me. You can check it out here:  http://www.mythirtyspot.com/search/label/project I would also like to take this opportunity to welcome visitors from Erin's site to my blog. As you can see this is a brand new project of mine that I am just getting off the ground. If you want to stay connected please subscribe so you will get email notification of future posts. Photo credit: Birthday cake  by Will Clayton  on Flickr.

What My Cat Teaches Me About Trauma

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My cat, Jaxx, and I have just moved into our new home. This is my cat’s second move in his life of 5 years. He does not like change. (I do not like change either, but I have become more comfortable with it over time because I have been exposed to so much of it in my life.) It is Day 2 in the new place, and Jaxx has spent most of his time under my bed, not eating, not sleeping, in a state of hyper-arousal. Periodically he works up the courage (every four hours or so) to come out from under the bed. He comes and rubs up against me and is desperate for physical touch to reassure him he is safe. He will eat a couple of bites of food, then walk around and sniff things for a while. Then he will hear a small noise, and scared will run and hide under the bed again. These are the lessons my cat is teaching me about responding to traumatic events: 1.        Trauma is different for everyone. What overwhelms one person might not phase another. (I have lived in about 30 different

The Day I Learned Not to Dream

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When I was a kid, all I wanted to do was write. I carried a green-coversealed notebook around with me all the time. I jotted down bits of conversations I overheard, interesting words, and detailed descriptions of protagonists that would star in my stories. Then one day, my dad threw my notebook in the trash. It got collected by the garbage truck and went to the landfill to die. I cried and asked my dad why he would do that. “Oh that book isn’t important”, he said. What he meant was your stories, your dreams aren’t important to me or the world. I carried that message with me a long time. I stopped writing. But even though I had stopped writing people could still see the dream in me. Teachers and colleagues would say things like, “I can see you becoming a famous writer one day”. Yet still I didn’t write. Eventually I realised, years later, that what he said really had nothing to do with my dreams, my potential or my talent. What he said reflected how he felt about his dr